Book Review: Read This When Things Fall Apart

 

Image: The cover of the book is an illustration of a person standing in waist deep water staring out towards a dark blue night sky. The person is drawn in black with long hair and surrounded by lily pads. The water is surrounded by tree silhouettes and flowers. The sky has constellations drawn connecting the stars. The moon in the center has "read this" in black letters. Below that in soft yellow is "when things fall apart" Below that in green "letters to activists in crisis." And on the bottom in yellow is "edited by Kelly Hayes."

I read the anthology Read This When Things Fall Apart at a time when my life had fallen apart within a country falling apart within a world falling apart. This book brought up a lot of feelings. I believe that things like burnout, loneliness, relationship conflicts, and lack of support systems for disability, illness, and aging are some of the biggest threats to activist movements. We can never run long on fumes, vibes, adrenaline, excitement nor despair, urgent anxiety, immediate crisis, and so on. I was never one to find balance in any of these and it is part of what resulted in my own stepping back from most organizing years ago. On top of inevitable things like illness and massive life stress, hyper focusing on activism without building relationships outside of it is a common issue (and is even encouraged by some movements and cultures.) This sort of isolation means that many people do not have anyone to hold their hand and ease the pain of experiencing and/or witnessing the many horrors of the world. Or if they do, they are sometimes too close to offer what someone may need. Enter Kelly Hayes who put together a collection of letters from organizers/activists to others.

The collection follows a similar format with each entry: "Read this when X," followed by words from organizers who then sign off with, "Sincerely, X." The actual content of each entry was a bit variable. Some letters feel very intimate, like the author is sitting there with you and connecting on a personal level. Other entries read a bit more like essays, discussing changes we need to implement and sharing experiences to learn from. 

While all entries had their strengths, I had a few favorites. "If You're Witnessing the Unthinkable," by Eman Abdelhadi about genocide in Gaza (and beyond) was immensely heart wrenching yet hopeful and supportive. It brought tears to my eyes while also leaving me a little more open minded about the future. Aaron Goggans' "If You Are Struggling with Your Mental Health" was a refreshing follow up to the more flawed entry preceding it (more below on that.) He does well to discuss the intertwined relationship between the sensitivity and drive that can both make one good at organizing and also make one vulnerable to trauma. It also introduced me to The Wildseed Society. "If You Are Fighting Deportations and You're Afraid or Discouraged" by Aly Wane brings clarity to the fight against the destructive system of organized terror being waged by ICE and other oppressive institutions. He encourages us to look at the bigger picture and not let details or individual flaws hide the reality of where things could be if we kept going. I also appreciated Shane Burley's entry on fascism. Even though it was one of the entries that felt a bit more like an essay than a letter, it confronts some important truths and conflicts within leftist movements that we need to overcome. Reading this book also pointed me in the direction of other books to add to my endless to-read list such as such as No Cop City, No Cop World edited by Micah Herskind who contributed "If You're Losing and discouraged." I was familiar with many of the authors therein, but this was my first interaction with others.

I found the entry on suicide to be frustrating. It is the longest in the book yet the most flawed. It has strong moments, discussing how mental health causes people to act imperfectly or downright abusive and how this isolates and breaks people apart. However, her entry is less of a supportive letter and more borderline trauma dumping in ways I did not find helpful for such a critical topic that so many of us deal with. Other authors balanced the sharing of personal experiences with the supportiveness of the books format much better. The author also frustratingly diagnoses herself with TWO new illnesses (including DID and a subgroup of PTSD.)* This author was also given a second entry collaboration with another person about disability which is better, but I would have preferred a second entry from one of the other authors instead. I loved this author's work for years, so it is frustrating for that reason as well. Fortunately, the following entry about mental health by Aaron Goggans makes up for the flaws of the suicide entry. 

Read This When Things Fall Apart is another one of those books that I wish would have existed when I was younger. There is so much here that I benefited from even now that could have changed my entire trajectory back then. I hope that it offers support to the organizers of today, especially as I watch my country further expand and strengthen its fascist regime. This is one of the most heinous times in our history- and that is saying something. I fear things will get worse, but hold onto a glimmer of hope. History has taught us how bad things can get and how these things are repeated when we do not learn important lessons. It has also taught me that organized and passionate people can fight those things and win.

This was also posted to my goodreads and storygraph.

_____

*I didn't want to make too much of this review about this one entry, so I have added this elaboration as an optional end. This entry caused me to put the book down for a bit and had the opposite of the effect the book is seeking out. I know some will bristle at these criticisms, so here is more info on what I mean: I am not against people looking into their struggles and figuring out what they suspect may be going on before seeking higher care- that is good. I am aware of the atrocious healthcare systems both in the USA and elsewhere that complicate access. Pathologizing every single human experience, fixating on or shopping for diagnoses that are most popular in media or social circles, and publicly misrepresenting illnesses- that can take a long time to properly diagnose even by trained people- in an endless telephone game has become a big issue in some communities. It's Schrödinger's diagnosis- wherein seeking professional diagnosis is avoided because doctors are (oppressive/inept/stupid/inaccessible) yet the diagnoses themselves created by doctors are concrete, real, and require no medical training to assess. This is not just simply an annoying phenomenon- it can result in people NOT receiving the correct treatment or help they need (as many diagnoses share features) which can result in worsening illness that becomes harder to treat or even suicide that this essay is meant to prevent. I have severe OCD for instance which shares traits with other disorders whose therapy worsens OCD. Some self-dxers have even advocated removing diagnoses from definitions of disability- which means removing accommodation funding. Doctors are human which means they can absolutely be shitty, but years of intensive education and observed clinical practice is not the same as googling things, chatting with friends, online tests, and highly biased self assessment. Doctors don't self diagnose either- especially not with psychiatric illnesses- because they understand priming, confirmation bias, and the importance of an external observer. 

The right has their anti-science aspects (ivermectin, mask refusal outside of ICE gestapo, racist "research," etc) and we on the left have our own (self dx, treating covid and cancer with homeopathic "medicine," etc.) The author also mentions being against Medical Assistance in Dying which I know is a stance among some disability justice folks due to valid fears of coercion. However, I am tired of MAiD being organized against at every turn as I know what it is like to watch people die slowly in agony or be resuscitated even with a DNR after attempting to end life on their terms. Is the option of choosing to die of starvation and dehydration (which can still sometimes legally be interrupted) kinder to disabled people facing terminal illness? How can we discuss suicide and what can lead to it without engaging with this topic properly? I have faced some things myself and a 4th cancer could come at any moment. I disagree that the only options are genocide or die in agony. I think we can pair medically assisted dying with better support for disability accommodations.