It was a pleasure to read Edgar Gomez's memoir and to speak with him in (virtual) person at VINE book club last month. Gomez's High Risk Homosexual, stands out in a crowd for its nuanced take on what it's like growing up at the intersection of multiple marginalized demographics. Even though this book represents a the life of a Latinx nonbinary person raised in a world that wanted him to be a toxically masculine straight man, it is relatable to me and I would assume to most people on various LGBTQ continuums. While many of us grew up in a variety of communities with varying levels of acceptance and shame, I believe this sort of thing is deep inside all of us. The euphoria we can experience when we have moments of letting go is shared as well but is not simple or easy.
One topic that ended up taking up a lot of space at the book club was Gomez's relationship to the oppressed other than himself. This extended to other animals as well. A particularly intense scene involves cock fighting rings and a forced conversion situation simultaneously (which I won't describe in detail so that you will go read it yourself.) People react in a variety of ways to traumatic experiences in childhood, but what grips me a lot about Gomez is how he empathizes with everyone around him, including the women dealing with their own set of struggles, the roosters forced to fight, and the hens used as bait. It is saddening to think of a child so sensitive feeling so many things, but in the end, that child grows into a kind and considerate adult without losing all of that gentleness. Many people cannot say the same.
This story also involves the horrendous tragedy that was the mass shooting at Pulse nightclub. Gomez's account captures just how debilitating and far reaching collective trauma goes, even if one is not on the scene when it happens. Moving through this trauma as well as slowly but surely going from ashamed to shameless is an intense reality that all too many people face.
Regarding the title, it is kind of poetic how all of the shame that family and community instilled in Gomez, all of the self hatred and fear he was taught to absorb, and all of his careful maneuvering throughout gay life still led to him being labeled a "High Risk Homosexual" in a medical setting. In some ways, these trappings are devastating. No matter how "good" and "careful" one is, their mere existence can be stigmatized. But, on the other side of the coin, we might as well be free and enjoy ourselves if they're going to step on us either way. Easier said than done, but an important realization nonetheless. Even if Gomez was taking part in "high risk" activities, he would still be deserving of respect (and appropriate medical care for that matter.)
The only critique I have of this book is the organization- particularly in regards to timelines. The book often jumps backward and forward in time without anything to orient the reader as to how far back or forward one has jumped. I found myself saying, "wait a minute..." and going back to previous chapters thinking I completely misunderstood a story before realizing the non-linearity of the story line. Nonlinear writing is perfectly fine and often an entertaining tool, but in this case, I needed more organization to fully follow the story.
The end leaves us with some nice grey area, which I appreciate. This is not a bury-the-gays story line nor is it an it-gets-better story line. It is grounded in reality while remaining hopeful of the future, and that makes it all the more believable and important.
This was also posted to my goodreads.
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