Friday, October 19, 2018

Book Review: I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness

Image: The book cover is a mint green background with scattered writing all in capital letters. There are horizontal black stripes that fill in the gaps between words. "I'm still here," on top in white letters, "Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness," in the center in black letters, and "Austin Channing Brown" on the bottom in white letters.

Austin Channing Brown's memoir is a short and compelling book despite the fact that she claims near the beginning that there was not anything flashy or exceptional in her life like growing up rich or in extreme poverty. She has plenty of interesting stories from her life to tell and she uses them very well to convey messages about larger society. The book is structured in an interesting way, breaking up the memoir with interludes like, "Why I love being a Black girl." This made the book flow well.

Brown was given a perceived white man's name by her parents in order to combat prejudices, white supremacy, and misogynoir. While this name did work to get her in the door at times, she still of course faced racism on a regular basis. At one point in the memoir, she details one day at a predominantly white workplace. This story was very effective in showing just how many microaggressions Black women deal with daily. Brown focuses a lot on these microaggressions and for good reason. It is not only the sporadic horrific murders or someone calling someone the N-word that are effects of racism and white supremacy. It is the daily slog through a society in which every stitch of its culture is built around whiteness.

Brown details microaggressions such as white people touching her hair and scrutinizing her body, being expected to speak for all Black people everywhere from grade school to the work place, white guilt and the space taken up by well-meaning but ignorant white people, and more. She also delves deep into the never ending historical pain caused by horrific events such as the 1963 16th Street Baptist Church bombing- in which 4 KKK members murdered 4 young Black girls- and the day that white supremacist murderer Dylann Roof took the lives of 9 people and (physically) injuring another. I am sure that everyone present has the psychological injuries that will last a lifetime. Brown talks about her experiences as a Black, church-going, Christian woman. She discusses how to persevere even when it feels like there is no hope in a society in which racism never goes away, it just slightly changes its shape.

There is a lot of discussion of Black churches and Christianity in this book. I always get a little nervous regarding Christianity talk as most churches have not been kind to (Queer and trans) people like me and white Christianity has been used as a tool of genocide and colonization. Brown, while very strong in Christian faith, does understand there is a history that cannot be ignored. She says that, "...even though the Church I love has been the oppressor as often as it has been the champion of the oppressed, I can’t let go of my belief in Church—in a universal body of belonging, in a community that reaches toward love in a world so often filled with hate. I continue to be drawn toward the collective participation of seeking good, even when that means critiquing the institution I love for its commitment to whiteness." Despite being an atheist myself, I do understand the purpose churches serve for many. Brown did well to put this into words.

She ends the book with a discussion about love. In response to people insisting she should love her oppressor into stopping the oppression, she states, “More often than not, my experience has been that whiteness sees love as a prize it is owed, rather than a moral obligation it must demonstrate.” Yet, Brown urges people not to give up and still believes love is a tool for liberation. This book is more than a memoir, it is also passionate plea for racial justice. It is a quick and worthy read.